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Do You Envy Her? You might be surprised.

Do you envy her?... You might be surprised

Love is not envious. 1 Corinthians 13:4

Today, we are going to look at what love is not. Love is not envious, but envy can be very subtle. You may be envying someone and not even know it. I know I was and didn’t even know it.

According to, envy is a mostly negative feeling of desire for what someone else has and you do not. Envy can be described as a mix of admiration and discontentment.

Did you see those last two highlighted words? Admiration and discontentment. Whoa that’s hard to swallow. I have unknowingly been guilty of envy in areas where I have personally struggled. No wonder it’s been hard, until recently, to love and minister to people in these areas.

It’s okay to admire people, their talents, abilities and what God’s given them. The problem comes when we admire them and then are discontent for what God has given us, how he’s gifted us and even how he’s made us.

The Bible says, “But godliness with contentment is great gain.” 1 Timothy 6:6

See if you’ve said any of these things:

  • Why does God always give her this and why doesn’t he give it to me?

  • Why does she not even have to try to look pretty, and it’s so much work for me?

  • Why does school come natural to her, and I study hard and still don’t get good grades?

  • Why can she handle so much, and I get overwhelmed so easily with noise, lights, and chaos?

*That last one was me, but for so long I didn’t realize this is actually the sin of envy and a form of comparison.

Girls, do you see envy is actually a form of comparison.

Why her this and why me this?

I truly believe to love without envying others or what they have, we need to first evaluate ourselves and live in a place of constant repentance. When a thought comes, reject it, ask for forgiveness, repent of it and replace it with the Truth of God’s word.

Here are a few scriptures to memorize to replace these lies with the Truth.

Envy about how God made me and how he made her.

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14

Envy about what God has or has not given me and has given her.

“His divine power has granted us all things that pertain to life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence.” 2 Peter 1:3

Envy when it doesn’t seem like my needs are being met and hers are.

“And my God will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

Girls, we will be talking more about comparison soon, but please take this seriously. Don’t let any weight or sin entangle you and keep you from living the life God has called to you - fully alive and on purpose for His glory!

Here’s a simple way to evaluate yourself in terms of envy:

  1. Ask God to show you areas of our life where you are envying?

  2. Ask for forgiveness and repent.

  3. Thank him for what he’s given you.

  4. Trust that he made you exactly how He made you for a reason.

  5. Believe that he will provide for all your needs.

Girls, a verse that has pressed on my heart deeply lately isDon’t just pretend to love others, truly love them.”Romans 12:9 To truly love them in the way God calls us to, not the way the world does, we must know what the Bible says about love and ask him to empower us through the Holy Spirit to truly love others. Let's keep leaning in and learning about what love is and is not so we can truly love others.

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